Skip Resolutions; Audit Your Values Instead

How to tap into the power of values to drive real change. 

Do you make New Year’s Resolutions in your business and/or personal life? An estimated 40% of U.S. adults make resolutions each January, yet research suggests as many as 88% of those who do give up within two weeks.

Resolutions fail for the simple reason that they are based on the idea that we “should” do something. Chasing goals based on outside expectations — like wealth or status — can leave you drained. That’s because goals are external — they’re visible, measurable, and often imposed by others.

A better way to approach change is through our values. Values are internal — they’re felt, lived, and chosen. When values drive your goals, everything shifts. You say yes more intentionally — and no without guilt. You measure success not just by results, but by how you showed up along the way.

Think of your values as your internal GPS — the principles that guide your priorities, decisions, and behaviors to ensure your choices align with what truly matters. They help you cut through the noise, make intentional choices, and keep you from giving up when the road gets rough.

Research shows that when your goals reflect your personal values, you’re more motivated, more persistent, and more likely to feel satisfied even when the outcome isn’t perfect. Goals rooted in your values create autonomy and purpose — the fuel for motivation and emotional health. They turn everyday effort into meaningful progress, helping you grow forward.

Research also consistently shows that when your actions align with your values, you experience greater well-being, less stress, and stronger resilience. Values remind you of who you are and how you want to show up — especially when everything else is shifting.

Circumstances change. Jobs come and go. Relationships shift. Plans fall apart. But who you are, and what you stand for, can stay consistent if you take the time to define your values. When your actions align with your values, you know you can handle uncertainty because you’re not just reacting — you’re responding with purpose.

When values are unclear, goals fall apart. But when we align our goals with our values, new habits can take hold. That’s why before setting resolutions, or any other kind of goals, I recommend people do what I call a values audit.

Audit Your Values 

A values audit is a simple exercise to help you identify what truly drives your decisions, leadership, relationships, and well-being. It’s the missing step that makes change actually stick.

1. Start by determining your core values. Choose three to five things that matter most to you. These might be traits you admire in others, appreciate in yourself, or aspire to embody. Examples include accountability, authenticity, collaboration, compassion, discipline, empathy, honesty, humility, independence, innovation, kindness, loyalty, optimism, purpose, respect, and wisdom.
2. Define actions that reflect your values. Knowing your values is the first step, but without action, they are just words. Saying you value integrity sounds noble, but what does integrity look like? It might mean being honest even when it’s uncomfortable, keeping your promises even when it’s inconvenient, or admitting mistakes and doing what you can to make them right.
3. Test it. Could someone observe your actions and know what you value? If I followed you for a week, would I be able to tell what’s most important to you? If growth is one of your key values, what does that look like? Maybe you take on a new hobby or volunteer for a stretch assignment. If innovation drives you, perhaps you set a goal to brainstorm one crazy idea per week.

The clearer you are on the observable behaviors that demonstrate your values, the more likely you are to stay true to yourself as you change and evolve.

A Secret Weapon for Teams 

Values aren’t just personal; they’re your secret weapon for building stronger, more adaptable teams. In times of change, pressure, or uncertainty, it’s not rules or policies that keep people grounded; it’s the values they share.

Shared values are one of the strongest predictors of team trust and performance. When people know what their team stands for, they trust faster and collaborate more effectively — especially in uncertain or high-pressure environments.

A few years ago, I was working with a company navigating a massive reorganization. Tension was high, teams were being merged, leadership was shifting, and people were feeling everything from anxious to territorial.

One team stood out. While others were micromanaging and spiraling into finger-pointing, this group was unusually steady. They were meeting deadlines, sharing credit, and even laughing in meetings.

I asked their manager what she was doing differently. She said, “We went back to basics. We spent the first week after the announcement getting clear about our priorities. We agreed on three values: transparency, collaboration, and respect. And we revisit them every week.”

Here’s the powerful part: She didn’t hand them a list. They created the team’s values together. And once they did, everything else became easier. When things got tense, they’d ask: “Are we living our values right now?” That simple question became a compass keeping them on course. No rules. No top-down mandates. Just shared ownership.

That’s the difference between rules and values. Rules tell people what to do. Values empower people to decide for themselves.

When values are clear, people are more likely to self-regulate, hold each other accountable, and make decisions that support the whole. Values give people a reason to stay engaged, to communicate openly, and to solve problems together, especially when things get messy.

Create Your Team Values 

As a team:

• Grab a whiteboard or a sheet of paper.
• Have everyone write down their top three values.
• Combine the list, then ask everyone to mark their three most important values from the group list. The ones with the most check marks become your core values. Keep it simple — choose three to five.
• For each value, brainstorm observable behaviors. For example: If trust is a value, actions might include things like “Share honest feedback — even when it’s uncomfortable,” “Listen actively without interrupting,” or “Meet deadlines and keep commitments.”

This becomes your team compass, something you discuss in team meetings, performance discussions, and one-on-ones. It sets the stage for everything else.

Bridging the Gap 

Even with the best intentions, there are times when values clash, sometimes spectacularly.

• You might value efficiency, but your teammate values quality.
• You might prioritize responsibility, but your teenager prioritizes relaxation.
• You might crave innovation, while your boss clings to tradition.

All of these are good values, and none of them are wrong. But when left unspoken, conflicting values can create frustration, friction, and a whole lot of unnecessary stress.

The most successful teams and organizations don’t necessarily have identical values, but they know how to bridge the gap between them.

Imagine you’re on a project team. You value efficiency, as in “Let’s get it done and move on.” Your colleague values precision, as in “Let’s get it exactly right, no matter how long it takes.”

Without a conversation, you’re going to get frustrated. With a conversation, you can align: “Let’s define what good enough looks like — and set a deadline we both commit to.”

Now you’re not battling over principles. You’re building shared expectations.

When values are in opposition, a simple three-step process can turn conflict into collaboration — name it, listen carefully, align on shared outcomes:

• Name It: What are the opposing values showing up here?
• Listen Carefully: Get curious, not defensive. Find out what this value really means to the other person. Why is this important to them? Remember: It’s not about winning or being right. It’s about understanding.
• Align on Shared Outcomes: What behaviors can we both agree on? How can we honor both values while still achieving the goal? Where are we willing to be flexible, and where are we firm?

You’re not compromising your values — you’re creating space for both people to be seen, heard, and understood. That’s not caving in. That’s choosing connection over conflict.

Sometimes, one value needs to take the front seat temporarily. That’s okay, as long as it’s a conscious choice, not a power struggle. You might agree: “This week, we prioritize speed to meet the deadline. Next week, we carve out time to polish and improve.”

Alignment isn’t about splitting everything evenly. It’s staying intentional about the trade-offs you’re making together. Because when people feel heard at work, they’re more likely to speak up, share ideas, and stay engaged — even when there’s disagreement.

Then you build something far stronger than agreement; you build respect, flexibility, and momentum. When you work to align values, even if you prioritize them differently, you create a foundation of trust, collaboration, and adaptability.

Written by Anne Grady.